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The Lunar Woman, Solar Man, and Relationships

by Shakta Kaur

Presented at the "4th International Conference on Indian Knowledge Systems - Ayurveda and Yoga – Where Science Meets Consciousness" in Allahabad (during the Maha Kumbh Mela, February 16, 2013)

Woman is the like the moon. She waxes and wanes. Man is like the sun--constant, stationary, shining from dawn to dusk and dusk to dawn. Everything grows because of the moon. Everything ripens because of the sun. And everything is conceived because of the combination of those two polarities of male and female, sun and moon. That is where the problem begins as well! Not understanding the basic nature of man and woman causes strife, pain and tremendous hardship.

Women are not born to suffer, but they do. Women are not born to be unhappy, but many are unhappy. Women give birth to doctors, psychologists, avatars. Men want women, men leave women, and men beat women. Men love women, men hate women, and men divorce women. On this most beautiful planet there is nothing but misunderstanding in the roles of the Lunar Woman, Solar Man, and their Relationships.

The Lunar Woman

Humankind has long recognized how the lunar cycles interact with Mother Earth—in the ocean tides, plant and hair growth, animal rhythms and even a woman’s hormonal cycle. Lunar energies also influence our emotional equilibrium. The energy of the moon interacts with the micro- and macro-cosmos, our bodies and the universe, in other words, ‘as above, so below.’Moon points are physical areas located on the human body, sensitive to lunar energies. A male has one moon point at the chin. Hair grows on his moon point, absorbs solar energy and neutralizes the lunar effect. By nature, a male is primarily influenced by the solar energy.

A woman has 11 moon points which affect her emotional state. She moves in sequence from one moon point to another every 2 ½ days. In the 28 days of the menstrual cycle, a woman’s moon can be found in one of the eleven different areas of the body, called the eleven limbs of the woman.

The moon center sequence begins in the womb. In fact, the moon center sequence begins just after conception. This is the subtlest cycle that a woman can experience. It contains the answers to many patterns that have mystified women (and the men in their lives). Women may be labeled as emotional or unpredictable, always changing their minds, delivering the unexpected from day-to-day. In reality, the woman has simply moved to a different moon center. Every 2 ½ days when the woman cycles to a different moon center she sees the world through the quality of that moon center. As her moon center changes her mood changes. If she is aware of her moon center sequence she can feel that underlying quality.

Here is a list of the woman’s 11 moon points and the different qualities associated with them:

Hairline: the arc line—steadiness, stability, divine clarity, reality.

Cheeks: unpredictability, emotional instability.

Lips: verbal, interactive, communicative.

Ear Lobes: intelligence, concern with values and ethics.

Back of the Neck: sensitivity, romance.

Breasts: divine compassion, giving (can be to the point of foolishness).

Belly Button/Corresponding area on the Back: insecure, exposed, vulnerable.

Inner Thighs: confirmative, verifying, affirming.

Eyebrows: illusionary, imaginative, visionary.

Clitoris: external, talkative in social settings.

Vagina: depth, sharing in personal or cultural cycle.

A woman’s moon center sequence may not follow the exact order as the list above. For example, it may move from the Ear Lobes to the Hairline instead of from the Ear Lobes to the Back of the Neck.

A woman’s moon center sequence is uniquely her own. It does not depend on the actual phase of the moon or of her menstrual cycle.

Once a woman has determined her personal moon center sequence she can follow it throughout her life. It will not change to match those of the other women in her life. It may change, however, if she is subjected to trauma. It may also change in intensity after menopause, i.e., the fluctuations in emotions from moon to moon may be subtler than before. Using kinesiology (muscle testing) or a pendulum are two ways to determine a woman’s moon center sequence.

The Solar Man

The male moon center on the chin has hair on it, therefore, it is steady. Woman must be able to look to the man for inspiration and stability. Otherwise, he has nothing to offer. Then it becomes a matter of existence and not of relationship. The side of the moon which shines looks towards the sun. The man must be stable as a magnet, which attracts to itself but itself does not move, while she, being the changeable moon is never stationary and therefore never secure.

The man is to be a source of strength and stability and security. His duty is to make her secure both materially and spiritually. The woman must know that her male will provide for her.

It takes a woman 14 days to wax and 14 days to wane. But a man does it with 14 breaths waxing and waning. This means that the man goes through the process in 2 minutes, the woman in 28 days! The outer, more noticeable difference is that the woman spends more time in each moon center to experience the transition both in her mind, mood and actions. The male moves quicker, sensing less transition and manifesting a more sun-like nature.

Yogi Bhajan, the Mahan Tantric and the Master of Kundalini Yoga said it best: “The sun and moon exist as polarities, positive and negative. The faculty of the sun is continuous and constant; the nature of the moon is expansive and contractive. So whereas a woman’s underlying etheric tendency is towards fluctuation and man’s is towards stability, on a practical earthly level their behaviors are the reverse.”

Speaking to men he said, “Understand that she is here to sprout and receive, conceive and she is very insecure. The only thing which makes her secure is when you tell her she is infinite and that her spiritual spirit is what can give her the experience of Infinity.

Woman has an infinite ego. No man can match it. If you are born of a woman, how can you match a woman? You are always weak before a woman. When you relate to the limited self of a woman she becomes very crazy. Always tell her that she is great, unlimited, divine and the giver of everything. All you have to do to deal with a woman is to inspire her spiritually.”

Woman doesn’t need a man. She is sixteen times more intelligent, sensitive and patient. She can work and protect herself from the enemy sixteen times more than a man. By just standing and looking straight into the eyes of a person a woman should be in a position to hypnotically make the other person faint. It is a God given gift which most women have not developed. This is what the scriptures say ... within the sight of the female when any man, person, animal, bird or one which creeps comes to be in her sight she can still it and make it faint until enough distance is gained that she can be out of danger. That quality is not in a man.

Primal Nature of the Male and Female

The Feminine

A female swings between two polarities—the woman/feminine and the mother/nurturer. As ‘woman’ she is powerful and can push through all difficulties. She can even manifest the archetype of the Warrior Woman who is fearless, defending courageously. This is the more active or masculine aspect of the polarity of the female.

As ‘mother’ she nurtures with endless compassion, even to the extremes of sustaining herself through ongoing stresses and abuses without weakness. Her cells have the ultimate yearning to create and nurture every seed that she encounters; every event, encounter or process. She innately longs to nurture it. This is the more passive or feminine aspect of the female. Even if a female is without children she holds this mother aspect within her.

The conscious female integrates these two aspects. This is the most basic polarity within the female.

The Masculine

A male is also balancing two polarities-- the masculine/sovereign warrior and father/protective shelterer. As the ‘sovereign warrior’ he needs his own domain and definition. This is the independent aspect that longs to grab his things and hit the road. He seeks adventure, exploration and action, he loves teams, packs and membership even as he strikes out on its own for adventure.

This is also called the ‘hunter’ and the ‘seeder’ aspect of the male. This is the ‘seeder’ with no commitments. This is the more rough male energy.

As ‘father’ the male longs for a protective shelter with a comfy home where he’s loved and life is very cozy. Pillow talk and eye contact nurture this comfortable energy. He dreams of the luxury of warm meals and sweet communication. This reflects the more feminine passive energy within the male polarity.

It is not always easy for men to speak about these two polarities within themselves.

Bringing Ease into Our Relationships

Six Tracks or One Track

The female primal nature gives her a very ebb and flowing attitude. Woman’s challenge is that, in addition, her mind has six tracks! She was given this gift so that she would be able to serve, nurture and care for her children, husband and home. This ability to work on six tracks at once can backfire—she may not be able to turn off her nurturing nature.

Woman can handle many things at once. She can talk on the phone, chop vegetables, feed the baby, oversee another child doing chores while thinking about tasks she’ll need to complete tomorrow while smiling throughout. But, all of this activity can heavily tax her nervous system. Eventually it could even force her to close down her sensitivity.

A male has one track. He enjoys remaining on that one track, too! It is usually not difficult for him to concentrate on one thing at a time. The ‘one track mind’ has its pros and cons. On the pro side he can tune out everything and concentrate on the task at hand. On the con side it can be difficult for him to change gears quickly to interact in an ever faster-changing world.

So, in relationship the woman must offer the male one thing at a time to think about; one task at a time upon which to concentrate.

Ideas or Problems

Because a woman can think on many tracks she is more capable of handling more ideas and thoughts at once. She can entertain both fantasies and serious ideas at the same time. The male tends to select one thought and then likes to leap into action to solve the problem—right away!

For example, a woman who is thinking about re-arranging the furniture at home might simply be sorting her priorities verbally. But, if she isn’t clear she might come home to a totally different floor plan! That is because while listening to her he has already calculated when he would find the time to re-arrange the furniture, identified who he would enlist to help him move the heavy chest of drawers, thought of the hand-cart needed at his cousin’s house to get it all done, etc.

The female is suggesting ideas. The male perceives the idea as a problem to be solved—and he’s going to solve it!

To avoid future miscommunication and arguments the female needs to clearly define and frame the conversation, i.e., 1) it is necessary and essential to re-arrange the furniture, 2) we are just reviewing to see if we need to re-arrange the furniture, i.e., there’s just a slight possibility of action or 3) we are discussing re-arranging the furniture as an enjoyable fantasy ... not for action!

Purkha and Prakirti

The relationship is not between a male and a female. It is between Purkha and Prakirti. A man who does not see Prakirti (goddess) in a woman will never find the strength to see the infinity of God. And a female who does not find the nucleus of God in a man will never have the ecstasy of divine experience.

In the heavens the Sun is stationary. The moon, on the other hand, waxes and wanes. The moon reflects the sun. When the earth comes between them it creates an eclipse. It is as if the moon and earth eat each other. The eclipse is similar to how two people can eat each other in marriage, in love, in relationship. In so doing they block or eclipse the relationship, their prosperity, their spirituality and their happiness. They become two polarities with their egos in the center. This robs them of what they can have with each other.

Your relationship is yours and no one else’s. Love the polarities and the differences. Accept with tolerance because it is out of love and compassion that your soul has united the two of you. In relationship you want to ‘relay’ yourself and share with that person in such a way that it uplifts and draws out the positive virtues of that person. That uplift is your extended personality co-created with the other in mutual relationship.


When a woman places her foot on this Earth, God himself says, ‘thank you.’ Why? It is because a woman is the walking identity of God’s creativity. In yogic tradition woman is called the Adi Shakti the primal, original creative energy or force (‘adi’ = primal; ‘shakti’ = female energy). Each woman carries the Adi Shakti power within her.

Woman can turn her blood into milk. Man cannot. That milk nourishes man and then turns into his very own blood. Man has a genetic and spiritual obligation to bow in reverence to the character, the facets and the characteristics that woman has given him.

Woman is the mother of all mothers, the Bhagwati Ashutapujaa--the woman with eight arms sitting on the back of a Bengal Tiger. Those are the faculties of woman.

The tragedy on this planet is that those born of a woman do not have reverence for woman. There shall be no peace until this is achieved.


May we continue to understand the basic nature of man and woman.

May we honor the feminine ebb and flow of the moon and the masculine sustenance of the sun.

May strife, pain and suffering in relationship end.

May all of all of our relationships be bountiful, blissful and beautiful.

Sat Nam.


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